A Pony For President

I think I’m spinning out of control - spinning and spinning perpetually, so dizzyingly fast through a maze. A maze with only one path, one trajectory, yet one I can’t decipher because I’m so terribly anarchic that I can only stand witness as I spiral closer towards the depths of pure insanity. I used to think I could control myself, that my misanthropic bouts were simply phases I consciously brought upon myself. I don’t know why, maybe to entertain myself and to keep me interested in myself because I couldn’t possibly care less about the things and the people around me. Why should I? It’s a world of varied and distant minds, many just like mine racing through the ceaseless ins and outs and dos and don’ts of our daily existence.

Thoughts, as individual entities are perhaps worth my interest and care, but for some reason a society of collective thoughts simultaneously working on the same big problems and individually working on banal issues is somewhat akin to sitting on a bed of nails. All these nails, all with the capacity to pierce and penetrate – yet together neutralise each other, leaving an effect that is insignificant and oh so horribly impartial. Why should I entertain myself with the mind-numbing pointlessness of the outside? I’ll live my own, my earth is my mind. My mind is where I reside.

It’s occurred to me though that this dangerously cynical mentality may not just be a conscious effort to disengage from an existence plagued by banality. Maybe this is who I am, so horribly self-centred that the mere notion of an external surprises and shocks me. Why do I become so shaken by my capacity to ‘feel’ things – to feel excited or happy or hurt by the things that happen around me? Pain is multiplied by the revelation of it even occurring to me and therefore my inability to really handle it. Things shouldn’t hurt me, no, not if I’m so disengaged with what happens around me. Excitement is exacerbated extraordinarily by the startling understanding that I can affect change in a world so overrun by individual thought, yet at the same time trudging so definitely towards a shared and obvious trajectory.

People wonder why I get so worked up, this is why.

Every day, I’m on a knife’s edge – on the brink, the narrow dividing line between pure insanity and normalcy. I usually find that line and stay on the right side of it; for the most part I think I’m normal, I think I appear normal despite some peculiarities. But tonight I lost it, not so obviously perhaps, but I crossed that line wilfully and I couldn’t bring myself back. Everything that came my way and crossed my sight was a parasite that needed to be crushed. I wanted to crush the wall – pummel it with my fists leaving horrid, yet satisfying red grind marks on my knuckles. The entire world around me, the air in front of me was like an echo chamber, just beckoning me to yell louder and louder for no reason other than to pierce the surroundings with my horrid and unwelcome appearance. A butter knife transformed from a kitchen utensil to a brilliant weapon. My view of the people around me changed, my comrades and acquaintances reshaped and remoulded into props, symbols of the very things that I despise so much. Every action and every move they made, a provocation – daring me to hate, daring me to jump into the deathly spiral I’m constantly standing at the very edge of.

Sometimes, most times my opinion of people’s presence is neutral – a fact that is neither satisfying nor irritating but one of those things that I can learn to ignore and take for granted.  But other times the touch of a human or merely sharing the same air space as another human angers and repulses me. Being in close proximity to other people makes feel a very real sense of claustrophobia, the touch of a person makes me cringe, and sometimes an embrace from another human being makes me want to shrivel up, leaving my bodily impression in the mould of my clothing whilst I cry and weep from the pure horridness of the entire ordeal. But then again sometimes I don’t mind them hugs, other times I might even like them.

I didn’t use to be like this, I used to be the kind of person that you could, I guess, like. I used to be the kind of person who could also like other people in less fickle and more genuine ways other than infatuation or romance. I suppose you could say I used to have friends, but I don’t really any more. But then again as my misanthropic worldview dictates, I don’t particularly want them either. I didn’t use to be like this, but something changed, somewhere along this path I messed up tremendously and I became this. The good me is long gone. Don’t try to find him, you never will. But you might find fragments. 

The notion of a Facebook phone has certainly lingered for a few years now – the concept reached a point of half-hearted fruition in the HTC ChaCha and Salsa in 2011, but neither really embodied the true potential of a Facebook phone. They were much more of ‘throw and see what sticks’ devices - with the only tangible evidence of deeper Facebook integration being the Facebook button on the devices’ fronts.

A lot has changed in nearly two years: Facebook’s Open Graph, the acquisition of Instagram and the introduction of Facebook Camera and Messenger applications among others. Perhaps the most strident progression Zuckerberg’s social network has made in the past two years has been reaching one billion active users. And counting. That’s approximately 1 in 7 people in the world, and an even larger proportion if accounting for the developed world alone. It’s a number that Zuckerberg wouldn’t have dared to dream in his Harvard dorm room almost 10 years ago and a level of pervasiveness that I personally find astounding and perhaps even intimidating – intimidating that one corporation could occupy so much global mindshare in an industry so inherently personal. You would think that a corporation with so much social leverage would be able to make some inroads in the smartphone industry.

It all begs the question of how deep can you integrate Facebook into the smartphone experience before it becomes downright intrusive, and is portrayed obviously as an overbearing corporate ploy. This is the dangerous balancing act that Facebook has to play, to integrate Facebook deeply enough to make it an inescapable aspect of our smartphones and by extension our daily lives, without integrating it so much as to reveal those intentions.

For Facebook, the benefits of a phone OS developed in-house are obvious. Facebook is primarily an ad business and much like Google its money-making capabilities lie almost exclusively in its understanding of users. The more is understood about users, the more ads can be targeted at the right users. A simple mobile app which is the depth of Facebook’s current mobile strategy on most platforms provides extremely limited scope is terms of user data aggregation – there are so many aspects of mobile usage that Facebook can’t tap into with a simple app. If Facebook built a phone and developed it to service their business motives they could integrate Facebook places into the default mapping application giving them a clearer idea of the places that users search, they could tap into the music and video players to ascertain the entertainment tastes of individuals. And of course they could put forward a compelling case to replace SMS and calls with Facebook Messenger and free calling to other Facebook users – augmenting user reliance on the Facebook ecosystem and strengthening their own ‘walled garden’.

Of course not all of these approaches may be feasible, and such invasive behaviour will likely be under close scrutiny from privacy watchdogs – but the potential is certainly there. As society begins to get more comfortable with sharing more information online and as the power of ubiquity continues to grow for Facebook, now is as good a time as any for Facebook to pounce with an aggressive mobile strategy.

But how well could the company sell such a device? The HTC ChaCha and Salsa failed to really make a splash, or provide any indication that a Facebook Phone can be a hit device.

Many of us are hopelessly reliant on Facebook, and we tend to know that. We know that Facebook is among the most used apps on our phone and we check it impulsively. We scroll our News Feeds rain or shine, interesting or boring and we keep doing it even when we get nothing out of it. There’s a natural inclination to check Facebook persistently, so would a phone built around a Facebook backbone be useful? Perhaps. Is this a selling point? Doubt it. As much as we’ve allowed Facebook become an ingrained aspect of our lives, we’re ashamed to admit it – there’s a stigma attached to a Facebook reliance that we’d all love to, but wouldn’t ever shake. Facebook isn’t something people think of when buying a phone because we’re accustomed and satisfied with the accessibility of the social network on smartphones the way we have it now – through an app. A Facebook phone is the answer to a question nobody has asked, which is where the real challenge lies.

To have Facebook on our smartphones left, right and centre, as the very spinal cord of our smartphones will inevitably increase its accessibility, efficiency and ultimately useability, but I’d vouch that there would be significant consumer trepidation about going down this route. We don’t want to get too intimate with something that is beginning to become dangerously addictive. A Facebook Phone, that is marketed as such would lack appeal for this reason alone. Facebook does not increase a phone’s marketability, we’ve learned that. Such a device would be a flop bar for one that is so exquisitely designed and offered at a bargain basement price.

But Facebook’s ‘Home on Android’ project mightn’t be anything like this. It might not be a ‘Facebook Phone’ in the same way that the ‘Kindle Fire’ is Amazon’s tablet – built entirely in-house with an exclusive and heavily-modified version of Android running on Amazon devices only. Such a strategy would be the anti-thesis of Facebook’s trajectory; after all social networking is an industry which hinges entirely on pervasiveness, not exclusivity. On Thursday, Facebook will show us a modified version of Android with Facebook running through its vein in a most exquisite and beautiful manner. They’ll show it on a phone of course, but they won’t be selling one. If big boy Zuckerberg unveils and intends to market a phone coupled with the Facebook-ified OS as a complete entity, then they’ve taken a wrong step.

Facebook have no interest in being in the hardware business, they have an interest though in being part of everyone else’s software – ubiquity after all, is the key. 

Also on Betanews

Time to start writing again. Really missing it.

Making someone else’s day on Valentines’ Day :) = Great day!

Oh my goodness, why is this so funny?

It’s that time of year again. Here’s my top 10 collection of the most interesting, insightful and informative pieces of technology writing this year. These are the ones that have really stuck with me.

Everyware: The Future of Gadgets Is One Company, One Product by Matt Buchanan on BuzzFeed.

Matt Buchanan unravels one of the most crucial elements in Apple’s success - it’s unwavering vertical strategy from designing the hardware, through to the software and the retail experience and the implications as its competitors see the value of doing the same.

How Microsoft Lost Its Mojo: Steve Ballmer and Corporate America’s Most Spectacular Decline by Kurt Eichenwald on Vanity Fair.

The accuracy of this piece, as with any write-up of this persuasion is naturally questionable but this remains one of the most comprehensive and researched pieces of long form journalism I’ve read. You owe it to yourself to take the time to read this behemoth as Kurt Eichenwald tries to piece apart where Microsoft went drastically wrong.

The Internet is Turning Us All Into Sociopaths by Milo Yiannopoulos on The Kernel.

Milo Yiannopoulos faces the disturbing truth behind the contemporary internet troll - they’re becoming more immune to having their true identity plastered behind their scathing comments. And they don’t even care. Is it time to start censoring the internet before it becomes a hostile, painful and dangerous place? I think so.

How Google Builds Its Maps - and What It Means for the Future of Everything by Alexis C. Madrigal on The Atlantic.

Ever wondered how Google gets all that information into their maps, and is able to give us traffic directions, know the locations of restaurants and stores and guides us to places using the fastest possible route? Maps aren’t exactly the most interesting innovation in tech, but this article details the intricacies, meticulousness and sheer amount of work that goes into the mapping process. You will be astounded.

Offline: Into the Woods by Paul Miller on The Verge.

This piece is a little different, in fact it’s not really fundamentally tech-related at all. For anyone who doesn’t know, Paul Miller from The Verge is going a year without the internet and writes a column on the site about his life sans the internet. I’m not sure why but this entry really stuck with me.

Augmented Paper by Matt Gemmell on Matt Gemmell.

Matt Gemmell goes all out here in describing the tennets of modern UI and UX design. He manages to delve into not simply how to incorporate good and useful design into apps but deeper - into the core purpose, particularly with today’s immersive multi-touch hardware. This is something that writer’s rarely touch on.

Meeting People Is Easy, Remembering Them Is Hard, Knowing Them Is Harder by MG Siegler on Parislemon.

This is the piece this year that made me go ‘spot on’. In fact, I myself wrote a piece which extended on the ideas that MG Siegler raises in his article. Even though this is essentially a piece just to generate excitement about Highlight (which unfortunately isn’t doing so great right now), the ideas he points out are exactly the reason why Highlight isn’t quite kicking off - it’s too radical to be normal.

Why Good Design Is Finally a Bottom Line Investment by Cliff Kuang on Co.Design.

I find the subject of design in technology really interesting, because I, like many others believe that design is the heart of a product, and speaks a product better than any other element of a gadget or piece of software. I like to say that features are the brains but design is the philosophy. Cliff Kuang talks about just how crucial design really is in developing a product and just as importantly, in addressing business motives such as promoting loyalty and providing a competitive advantage in commoditised industries.

Journalism vs Commerce: When is the News Important Enough to Drop a Paywall? by Matthew Ingram on Gigaom.

It’s inevitable that something as devastating as Hurricane Sandy would somehow makes its way into this list, and here it is. This article discusses the ethical issues behind the media as a commercial entity or as a distributor of important public information after The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal thoughtfully lowered their paywalls in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. Definitely worth a read. 

A New Mobile UX Design Material by Rachel Hinman on Smashing UX Design.

This is one of my favourites, not because it’s interesting (though it definitely is) but because it’s one of those pieces that makes your eyes open and makes you go ‘woah’. I seriously will never use my Windows Phone again without trying to extract the design principle out of every animation. A truly brilliant and insightful look into how animations are used, and the connection between animations in UI design and animations in cartoons. At least we now know that they’re not there just to look good. 

“Twas the nizzle before Christmizzle, when all through the hizzle
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mizzle; fo shizzle
The stocking caps were worn by the homies with care,
In hopes that St. Nizzle soon would be there;
The bitches and hoes were up all snug in their beds,
While visions of bling sparkled on their heads;
And mamma with her swag, and me in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long ass nizzle,
When out on the stoop some bitch came around,
I sprang from my crib, to knock this fool down.
Awizzle to the window I flew like the Flash,
Tore open this bullshit and threw out the trash.
The moon had her fine titties glistening on the snow
Damn son, now I gotta clean this up too yo,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appizzle,
But a tinyass sleigh, and eight tinyass reindizzles,
With a little old pimp, so lively and quick,
Woah wait, hold up one moment, is that St. Nick?!
Faster than shots in a bar his homies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Yo, Dasher! Hey, Dancer! Damn, Prancer and Vixen!
Yo, come on, Comet, Cupid , Donder and Blitzen!
To the windows! to the walls!
Now run bitches! Run bitches! Goddamn y’all!”
But I heard him shout, fore he flew outta sizzle,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-nizzle.”
Fo shizzle.”

HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY